Your adventure begins the moment you leave the house with all your gear and supplies. You’ve done this a thousand times before, but for some reason today that gut feeling says something is different. As you drive down the road in your reliable four-wheeler, you can feel your stress start to melt away as excitement takes hold of you. The sights and sounds begin to blur together as pure bliss fills your soul. You are about to embark on an epic journey into untamed wilderness where only few people dare to go—you are going camping!
The smells of nature fill your nose as crisp mountain air kisses your cheeks, while the warm sun beams down on you from above. All seems right in the world until suddenly out of nowhere you hear a deafening sound. You try to ignore it hoping that it will soon vanish, but the noise only grows more intense as the source comes ever closer. Your car starts to shake and next thing you know , your roof rack has become undone and your mattress is now flying through the wind into oblivion. To make matters worse, you’ve got to work in the morning.
Confused as to how this could happen? Don’t feel bad; no one should expect to be prepared for every possible scenario. We’re here to help guide you through the steps necessary to safely secure a mattress onto an automobile’s rooftop carrier. You can thank us later with a post camping pillow fight photo (we all know that’s what really matters).
1) First, make sure you have enough room on top of your vehicle for your new mattress. It doesn’t matter if you have a large car or a small car because we guarantee there won’t be enough space ; one size does not fit all.
2) Next, drive over to your local mattress store. Try to avoid falling asleep at the wheel like we did; it really messes with your swag game. Drive fast and aggressively while blaring heavy metal music that has a lot of bass in order to get their attention. Just make sure you don’t get a ticket or T-boned by approaching cars on the way there because they’re going pretty slow for some reason.
3) Once you arrive at the store, ask the mattress salesman if he has any boxes from mattresses that were delivered recently. If they don’t have any then just buy a new mattress and put it into your car yourself.
4) Now that you have a mattress in your car, drive over to a grocery store parking lot and find the nearest shopping cart corral. Carefully position your vehicle so that both bumpers are lined up with the edges of one of the individual corrals. Make sure to select a place where there is minimal pedestrian traffic around so as not to ruin their day when your mattress comes crashing down upon them.
5) Next, slowly release all air from your tires by pressing firmly on each tire’s pressure gauge until it reads zero. It’s very important that you do not release any air from the spare tire located in the vehicle’s trunk as this could result in an under inflated or completely flat tire, which would lead to disastrous consequences.
6) Once all tires have been properly deflated, go back into your car and drive over one of the corral dividers that separates boxes of food from each other. All four tires should now be touching a single corral division for added safety and stability while transporting a mattress on top of a car. If you find yourself strapped for mattress space then feel free to remove some items from the trunk to make room for more supplies.
7) Now that your vehicle is adequately prepared, slowly begin driving forward while keeping a close eye on the mattress. If it begins to move then immediately pull over to a well lit area, take all necessary safety precautions, and then proceed to freak out.
8) Once your car is stopped roll down your window and scream at the top of your lungs for assistance from any store employees that may be in the area. In most cases, people will immediately come running towards you since Mattresses are often known as giant magnets for attention. If they don’t come to help you when you start screaming about an emergency situation involving your mattress, feel free to strip naked in order to get their attention away from their smartphones.
9) After a crowd has formed around your vehicle , lift up the mattress off of your car’s rooftop carrier and drop it onto the ground. This will provide your new mattress with a fresh layer of character that will be sure to impress everyone nearby. Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of an old mattress that has gained several extra square feet in order to cradle your tired body after a long day’s work.
We know that getting a mattress to fit on top of your car can be a real hassle. However, we assure you that it’s worth the extra effort in order to get an item that will help support you for years to come. If you still think mattresses are not for you then we suggest buying a new pillow and getting some sleep apnea machines instead. If you enjoyed this guide and found it to be of value, feel free to check out some of our other blog posts located on the right hand side of this page.